Addiction Affects the Whole Family

If you all are wondering what is up with all of the addiction talk later it is because this is an issue that hits close to home for me. My sister progressed to Phase 2 of the program she is in today. I never thought I could be so proud of her and I know that is a bad thing to say. However she has spent years in the grips of her addiction. I don’t want to say what she was addicted to on here because I don’t want to embarrass her anymore than she has been at times.

 

We didn’t think this day would come and she is in an aggressive outpatient program where she checks in every day, goes to meetings, and so much other stuff. There have been times when she was ready to quit. In fact, she didn’t want to do the program to begin with but she didn’t have a choice. We spent so long trying to find the right path for her including looking into addiction treatment in St. Augustine, Florida wondering if going out of state would help.

The program she is doing has five different phases so she still has a ways to go. If you had asked me last year if she would clean I would have told you I had written her off as a lost cause long ago. She had tried and gave up on several programs in the past. She was clean once for a whole year but then went right back to it. While we have never been super close we were closer than we are now. There is s a lot of anger and resentment rolled up into our relationship.

There have been moments through the years when she would spazz out as I called it. For example one year on my birthday I was having everyone over. However she could come at the last second because this happened or that. Then she needed Ma to come and give her money to take care of whatever the issue was. I ended up sitting alone at the table with my birthday because everyone had to rush to her side. While that sounds as though I am jealous let me tell you I am not. I just got tired of having to take a back seat to whatever drama she had going on at the time.

Her addiction took center stage and because of it our two brothers will no longer spent to her. Her older daughter barely has anything to do with her and her youngest is just bidding her time until she graduates next year. Addiction, whether it is drugs or alcohol or something else, takes over the lives of everyone. The addict saying they aren’t hurting anyone else is so wrong. I have a cousin who says treatment programs don’t work. All I can say to that is my sister in a better version of herself than she has been in a long time. I don’t have to worry about being called horrible names on the phone because I won’t do whatever it is she wants me to. I no longer get phone calls to pay her bills every month. The biggest plus though is the fact that I don’t have to watch my mother cry every times she calls and no one answers. I don’t have to hear her worry herself sick if my sister has killed herself or not.

Every time that happened, every tear my mother shed, every moment she spent throwing up from the worry made me want to beat the bejesus out of my sister. It was one thing to treat me and the boys (our brothers) that way but to do that to our mother. To say she would put flowers on our father’s grave (since she is closest) have Ma send her the money, and then take that money and never put the flowers there was more than I could take. She wan’t raised to our parents with such disrespect.

Now she is clean and there are rough days for her. Sometimes she calls and tells me how hard it is. Other times she tells me that her sponsor thinks she doing so well. Then there are days like today where she got a little certificate and she reminded of that young kid she once was and had gotten her first award at school.