As a woman do you over analyze things? I know that is something that I am very guilty of! I don’t mean to do that but I do. For example I received a text message from my hubby last night. It was very sweet but by the time I got done breaking it done and analyzing each word I was in tears.
It read simply: Thanks, you are something special to me, take care. All I could think was “What in the world could he mean?” Don’t you say something like that your friend? I am something special. Instead of taking it at face value that he was maybe trying to explain how he was feeling at the moment.
I did something that I know he was not expecting me to do. He most likely thought I would not and I am certain he was waiting for me not to do it. The reason I am certain is because of how late it was and he normally would have been asleep. I think I surprised him and he was simply expressing that surprise. As a woman though I would have been thrilled with an “I love you” and I wanted to know why he couldn’t just say that.
Things have been stressed and the time apart makes it all the more stressed. We are still planning on remarrying but when things are already strained every little thing can seem so much bigger than it is. My picking apart every little thing doesn’t help. After I finished crying I thought “Why did you do that?” Instead of being thankful hat he acknowledged what I did I turned it into something it was not.
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I don’t think you are crazy. I think it is exactly what you said it was. Your relationship has been strained, so you look for hidden meanings where there is none. Maybe he was just counting his blessings for having you in his life. I think it’s humane nature to over analyzing things when your under strain. I have over analyzed many things in the past and I am sure I will in the future.
I am so glad to hear that you don’t think I am crazy. I have moments where I think I am just nuts!
I am very detail-oriented and tend to pick things apart too. I’m not a big fan of text messaging. It’s easy to misconstrue the meaning of things.I think meeting in person will clear things up so I wouldn’t worry. Easy for me to say I know!
I hate text messaging too! Because the way you read it may not be the way it is meant. The messages allow us to connect to one another in a small way so they help and hurt all at the same time.
I over analyze things too. I was in an emotionally abusive as well as physically abusive
relationship before I got remarried. I took the pain and trauma from that relationship into the new one and it has created a lot of problems. When a person is hurt they will always be wondering if there is hidden meaning to every little word.
That is so true. When you have been hurt it is so hard to simply trust and take things at face value.
You’re absolutely not crazy. I over analyze everything too and it drives my husband batty sometimes, but that’s my personality. When your trust is shaken you tend to over analyze things even more. Cut yourself some slack. You recognize what you did and that maybe you ripped it apart more than it was intended. It’s okay. And thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one who does this by writing about it! 🙂
I do this so much with everything. Then I was always think “why not take it at face value?”
I don’t think you are crazy, I tend to over analyze things all the time. Its hard not to think of the past and bring it into the present.
I really think it is a woman’s trait. We need to know the answers and meaning behind everything.
I don’t think you are crazy. When we feel a little insecure I think we tend to read into things way more than when things are going really well. I try not to, but I find myself doing it sometimes as well.
I think as women it is something that we just cannot help.
Yes, I am guilty of this also. My husband knows my “we need to talk about this” can mean an hour long discussion that might need only 3 minutes. I know some of this is the reason he just doesnt want to talk a lot…he is OK with just holding hands and watching TV, and just dealing with everyday stuff means he just wants silence a lot. Problem is, if I don’t get it out and dont move on at least some of my over analyzing, I know I will sit on it and go off like a powderkeg later, or just quietly fuss internally and cry alone.
I guess this is where the phrase “being anal over things” came from? If you google the word there are a ton of posts about guys thinking their women do this…so must be common. I am thinking it happened in cave man days. Like women wondering why their guy GRUNTED a certain way. LOL>
You have a history of things going on with your marriage, same as us. (We were apart for a year and a half and were half way through a divorce…I go from being insecure for me AND kids that he will run off again, and being SO superpeed at what happened in the first place. So, I tell, him…this whole thing to be worked out…yeah, it MIGHT take forever. So deal.
That is so true once you have been hurt and have those insecurities it takes a lot to get back to where you were if you ever truly do.
I think it’s human nature (maybe just for women) to analyze, possibly overanalyze. I don’t think it’s good or bad. But I think we need to learn to keep it in check or we spiral our emotions out of control.
I think over analyzing is just part of being a woman. I do it as well especially during fights when my husband makes comments and I just jump to conclusions because I think that’s what hes saying.
I can see how that text might have seemed impersonal and given what’s going on with your marriage it seems perfectly reasonable to be sensitive. I really prefer not to communicate via email/text actually, because so much depends on tone of voice, facial expression, etc. My husband has actually called me out on being “cold” if I don’t sign an email with “love”. Usually it just means I was super busy at work, but he has no way of knowing that!