This post was brought to you by J Women’s Network and Genworth. All opinions are my own.
By: Lauren Mitchell
I am the primary caregiver for my mother, my uncle, and other relatives. I am the person who makes the doctor’s appointments, orders medication refills, and everything in between that comes with it. Let me tell you that caregiving can be difficult. In fact it is probably more difficult than being a parent. When you are the parent you know that you have to do certain things. When you are the caregiver to an adult you know what you have to do but trust me when I tell you they will fight you every step of the way.
It is easier to get the kids to take medication than it is to convince my mother she needs something. I must have her open her mouth and let me see that she actually swallowed and I have to check under her tongue. I always knew that I would be the one to care for my mom but I didn’t realize that everyone else would come along. While for one of my uncles we are now considering long-term care everyone else currently is receiving home care given by me.
Caregivers lives are completely changed by those they care for. It can be something as simple as having to plan doctor’s appointments to the full-blown dementia, heart-attack, congestive heart failure, Social Security Paperwork nightmare that I deal with on a daily basis. I spend a lot of time trying to find resources and more for myself so that I am better equipped to deal with everything. In fact I have been researching having someone come in a few days a week to help make life a bit easier for me.
I got some wonderful tips from above thanks to Genworth that include finding out how the agency scheduling of visits is handled. For someone like me this is very important because a meeting can come up at the drop of a hat and I need to know they can accommodate my schedule. I never thought about that before because I guess I just assumed they would be available when I called. Now I know to ask.
What caregiving tips do you have?
This post was brought to you by J Women’s Network and Genworth. All opinions are my own.
I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.
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Write any questions down that you have as you have them so you don’t forget amid all of the work you’re doing.
In fact, write everything down: medications, appointments etc. You’d be surprised at how many people just take the little appointment card given and never write it down, just thinking that they will remember where they put the card. I plan on being the one to take care of my mother when she gets older, she’s currently 61. I have worked for nursing homes and I know that no one will care for her like I will. So a home would be a last resort for me.
I’m in the same position as you Rita, when it comes to caring for my elderly relatives. I’m their “everything”. Without me, I honestly don’t know if 2 of them would be alive, because they can’t care for themselves due to dementia, diabetes, & neuropathy. No one know’s what we go through as Caregivers, unless they’ve gone through it, themselves. They think they know…they have no idea.
During my mom’s last few months on this earth I was her primary caregiver and while it was the most important and fulfilling jobs I have ever had, it was also the most difficult and stressful. Having Lupus I know that there will be a day that someone will be caring for me and I don’t want it to be such a burden. I think we all feel that no one can do as good a job as we can, but I like these questions just in case.
I am fortunate in that I do not have to be a caregiver for family members, but in the past I helped out with my grandfather’s caregiving (he died in June of 2009). It’s hard. It’s really hard. It’s frustrating, and it’s heartbreaking. The best recommendation I can make, besides using a planner or digital calendar/organizer to keep track of everything, is to make sure you take time for yourself, too. You need to care for yourself & be cared for, otherwise you’ll burn out and be in no position to help anyone else.
My most important caregiving tip is to do a little something for yourself regularly. Taking a little time for you is not being selfish, it’s refreshing and necessary to be the best possible caregiver.
My sister is the primary caregiver to our elderly father. I am disabled and can not help that much, but I try to do a few things. My sister is so organized that she has a calender where she has every thing on it, pills ordered, doctors appt, and anything else that she has to do. She does everything for my Dad,even cuts his hair! My tip is to keep yourself organized and write down everything that needs to be done.
This is a great post. I love the tips. I do a lot for my mother but nothing compared to what you do. You are 100% right about it being easier to get your kids to do stuff. My mom can be very stubborn sometimes. I think the most important thing to remember when being a caregiver is to try and have patience.
Great post, Rita!
As a nurse and as one who provided care for my grandfather in the home for as long as we could, I applaud you. Being the caregiver is no easy role. I hope you have some sort of respite set up, so you have a break from time to time.
I haven’t had to be a caregiver for anyone in my family. My grandmother got to where she couldn’t live alone two years before she passed. However, she practically begged to go to a nursing home because she had friends there. It definitely took stress off of our family.