Dealing With a Recent Break Up

Break ups are never easy. This is why so many of us will go back and forth, breaking up and getting back together. We don’t want to let go, but we know that we are not compatible. If you have reached a stage where you have decided that it is time to separate, or perhaps your partner has made this decision, you will need to take positive steps following the breakup. Here are a few different things you can do to make the process easier on yourself.

Know the Legal Protocol

If you are married, however, you will have to go through the legal process of divorce to officially separate from your partner. This, of course, can be a complex process, especially if you and your ex partner aren’t seeing eye to eye or in agreement about serious issues including child custody, child support, assets and more. You will need to learn how to file for divorce and get in touch with a good lawyer who will be able to proceed with your and any children’s best interests in mind.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is important in any breakup. Boundaries will let both parties know what is acceptable and what isn’t in the other person’s eyes. Do you want to maintain contact? Often, this isn’t the best way to move on, as it leaves a door open. Do you have to maintain contact because there are children involved? It’s important to set boundaries around what kind of communication is okay. This could be questions about the kids or important information about the kids, but no interference in each others’ independent, personal lives.

Accept Things Take Time

Your feelings aren’t going to disappear immediately. Chances are, you’re going to feel attached to the other person for some time. This is normal. You’re used to sharing your entire life with them and now you need to find a new way to lead your daily life. This can involve a new home, new routines, new priorities and more. Be patient with yourself. This can take some time to get over and that’s completely normal.

Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Many people veer into unhealthy coping mechanisms when they come out of a relationship. It is absolutely essential that you avoid this wherever possible. They won’t solve the problem, make things better or make you feel better in the long term. Instead, they can be seriously damaging or even dangerous or life threatening. Avoid excessive drink, smoking or drugs. Also be sure to see sex counsellors if it needed as this too can be an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Seek Support

There are so many sources of support out there. Of course, friends and family can be a good place to start out, but you may also want to consider alternative sources of support, such as therapists or counsellors. They will be able to help you to get to the root of any issues and will help you to deal with your emotions in a positive and sustainable way.

These are just a few different steps you can take on your path to overcoming your last relationship. Hopefully, they will come in useful for you!