You read that correctly! Since my divorce there are times when that on top of money that I feel down right stupid. I didn’t realize that a divorce can wreak havoc on your finances as much as it did. What I discovered when I divorced a couple of years ago was that I was not only starting over with everything but my credit was now worst than when I was just starting out at age eighteen.
I discovered that the man who was suppose to love, honor, cherish, and protect me had essentially ruined me in more ways than one. I was stuck with a tax bill to rival all others. Why you might ask? Because before I started working again I allowed him to handle all of the taxes and bills. Stupid I know but I did it and now I pay the price of it. I have spent the last couple of years paying down the tax bill and I must tell you that I had no idea that I would still be responsible for anything like since we divorced. However my name was on everything along with his so I am responsible. If hat was the only thing I wouldn’t feel as dumb as I guess.
Recently I went to the bank where we had a joint account and found that it was not only empty but overdrawn. I kept the account because that was where he put the child support payments and it was easier. I did deposit some of my own money in there (I know! I know!) and he took it all. Why a man would do that is beyond me but there you go. So know I am left feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet and more determined than ever to not only make it but ensure that my children never feel this way. I have taken his name off any and every possible account there could be including the savings accounts we had for the children that he cleaned out as well. I am listed on there along with my brother.
I put my brother on there in the event something happens to me so someone can oversee things for the kids. It is just a safety measure for my sanity. I make sure the kids are learning how to pay bills and to ensure that when and if the girls marry they will understand the importance of having at least one bank account in their own name even if it their savings account. I know that sounds harsh but if I had done that I would have had something to fall back on instead of working towards climbing out on my own. I am doing it, slowly but I am doing it. The tax bill will still take me another three years or so to pay off but I am doing it every month and the IRS is happy with the payments.
I am working towards replacing all of the money in the kids accounts and am about half way there but sadly it is simply replacing and not adding to them right now. I am also working on my own savings and retirement plans. I am ensuring that I never fall into this hole again. I currently have one full month’s worth of bills in savings but my goal is to have six months worth. I want to know that if I had to be out of work for six months I would manage financially.
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I’m so sorry that happened to you Rita. I can’t believe he would do that to you and the kids. I think you’re pretty smart because you’re figuring out how to rebuild and even have a plan in mind and a goal you want to reach.
You. Are. Not. Dumb!!!
How horrible! I hear these stories but never think it will happen to me. You just reminded me to get an account set up in only my name. Thank you. By the way, have you done a credit check on yourself just to make sure there is nothing else strange out there???
You’re not dumb at all. He knocked you down and you got right back up and seem to have everything under control.
I’ve been where you are with the joint accounts, massive bills because of him and going to withdraw money only to find out that he had cleaned the accounts. It took years to get it all paid off and straightened back out but it only made me stronger and more determined to never let it happen again.
Good luck honey you’ve got this !