This week has been an emotional roller coaster and it is barely half over. I started the week with such a plan but then life it seems had its own plans. If you keep up with me on Facebook you will remember back the week before Thanksgiving I discovered a lump in my throat. Well I had a sinusitis infection at the time so I figured it was simply a swollen lymph node. No big deal, the infection would go away and the node would return to normal.
Well it has been almost a month, no more infection but the lump is still there, still tender to the touch and is starting to bother me more and more. So I called the doctor, went to see him and now have an appointment with a specialist in January (earliest they have) waiting to see if I have the big “C”. I can’t even bring myself to say the word and of course I was hoping for some other great news but it is still a bit too early. Of course the lump could be a thyroid issue or a hernia because I have acid reflux. The problem is the waiting and not knowing, a million things go through your mind.
A part of me just says well that it is it, give up because it has all been too much. While the more sensible part of me says we will overcome this as we have everything else so no worries. Hubby says it is nothing and to stop worrying so much that now the appointment has been made everything will return to normal. You know like the toothache that suddenly stops when you get to the dentist.
Then today my wonderful cell phone company calls me and tells me that my phone roams too much so I need to find another provider or be in an area where it doesn’t roam as often. OMG!!! Since we have a family plan I asked when all the phones contracts would be ending and they try to convince me to stay with them. REALLY? I felt like saying “I wouldn’t stay with you if you were the last cell phone provider on the Earth!” The whole days has really been awful and all I really want is to be wrapped in my hubby’s arms and forget about everything. Of course he is working and won’t be home til next week. So I am going to settle for wrapping myself in one of his tees and curl up with his pillow.
I am going to wake up early tomorrow and finish editing the fifteen articles I wrote last night and today and get them all posted and scheduled. I have discovered that trying to edit when honestly your heart or head isn’t really in it leads to discovering that I edited one article for another one. I have been working on a Spanish article for another site and discovered this evening that I did my editing in French. I make mistakes on the best of days but the last couple of days have been really full of them. I almost gave my allergic to eggs mother a dish full of eggs this evening. Luckily she looked at me like I was crazy and asked if I was trying to kill her. The week of Christmas I am going to take a few days off and just be grateful for all the gifts that God has given me this year.
I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.
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Wow I’m sorry to hear about the possibility of the big “C”. I know uncertainity is the worst part of any medical problems, I hope everything is well with you and that you get good new. And that phone company is a real jerk.
I’m so sorry Hun! I know what it is to worry about a medical issue I was put on a wait to see a specialist for two months, those two months were the worse of my life I spent sleepless nights worried. My heart goes out to you and all I can say is try to keep your mind on other positive things because right now at this point it’s something you can’t control. Ill be keeping you in my thoughts and hope everything is fine!
Awww…you poor thing. Sometime the crap just hits the fan. Grrrr…
So, about the lump. Please don’t worry yourself. I had this too. Since was in my 20’s. Thyroid. But when I got sick with a virus or cold it got more swollen. Then, after I turned 40 it started growing really fast. Had it taken out, actually became like a superball size and then an additional one was pea sized. They had me worrying for a week over the testing but it was all OK. And even though they took half the thyroid, no need for medications. Even IF you have a thyroid “C”, they told me 98 % is complete curable. I have a friend who just went through this. She did have “C” in hers but is all removed and good. It always makes me wonder about hormones, the foods we eat, toxins, etc. i know I didn’t take near enough care of me when I was a younger mom. I would do that part all over again…eat better, etc. Dont’ you think half the battle and luck of not getting “C” is generally taking care of your body? That includes lowering stress. So take some time every day to just chill. Even if only 15 minutes. You’re worth it.
As far as cell goes? I’d just become more educated about THAT company. I mean, there has to be a ton of others you live by with the same issue. A LOT of people use them as standard parts of their everyday life now. I try to use my home phone most of the time, we still have a land line and that piece of mind is only 20 bucks a month. I use that for sure. If roaming, that would be 5 times that for sure.
I’m sorry you are so blog stressed. I have heard it is very hard work. Your work shows Rita, but if it’s affecting your health and family, you HAVE to give yourself some slack. Take care!
Thanks Eileen! I am trying very hard not to stress myself out about it all.
Eileen – you said everything I wanted to say! Rita – you have the right idea: hug yourself!! Take a nap, or a nice long hot bath, or a walk…just find that small space of peace with yourself, and keep on keeping on. One foot in front of the other. *This too shall pass*!! Loads of cliches, but oh so true. ((((((hugs!)))))
I am so sorry. Keep your head high. Things will be good.
My wife and I have also been through some of those moments, in which some bodily anomaly leads us to believe that the “C” is potential explanation. We are grateful that none of them has gone that direction, but it makes you realize how fragile our lives are and how much we depend on God to sustain us.
I’m very sorry to hear that you are going through this. My wife and I will be praying for you and your family. In the meantime, may He use all things for His glory.
Believe with all your heart for strength and peace.