Dreams of little feet is something that was always there and came about in the strangest way. For those of you who know me from Rita Reviews you know that I have children. What most people don’t know is that none of the children are my own. The older kids are from Edgar’s first marriage and they live with us 6 months out of the year. We homeschool them and I love them like they were my own.
The younger children are a result of an affair and their mother did not want them. Before you call me a saint taking on the children of my husband’s affair I will tell you that it was not easy. The older kids was very easy to accept, after all they were part of the package when I met Edgar. The twins were not so easy and at the same time they were. I have dreamed of having children of my own for many years and we have struggled. There has been a lot stacked against us and it has not happened. So how was I going to take and raise the very thing I wanted the most? In the end it was simple, they were a part of him and needed a mother. They may be the only children I have ever!
I haven’t given up the dream of children and I pray everyday that God blesses me with them, if only one. There are some days I think that he will while there are other days I think God has forgotten about me all together. I know there is a burning question on everyone’s minds.I get asked it often, how could I take him back? The truth is I love him and we were not in a good place. Marriage,like my faith, has been a struggle.
I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.
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I hope that one day you’re able to have a child of your own. But I know one thing, those children are lucky to have you in their lives. No, it probably wasn’t easy, but I think making the choice to raise them says a lot about the kind of person that you are. It’s not going to be easy, but in the end, it’s worth it.
Thanks Breia! Some days it has been harder than others especially when they were first born. Those first weeks were the hardest.
This is an amazing post. It made me tear up. I can’t even begin to imagine the internal struggle you faced when confronted with the thing you wanted most for yourself and your husband, only to be given that opportunity from your husband and another woman. Those children are very, very lucky to call you their mother. While someday I hope your wish for a biological child of your own is granted, I must say that in the meantime, you’re setting an extremely inspirational example. Best wishes in your journey. May you delight in every wonderful moment with those tiny feet dreams.
Thank you Audrey. It was not an easy decision but in the end there really was no other decision to be made.
It only takes biology to be a mom but it takes real love and dedication to be a parent. I am a step-parent as well and I know what an undertaking it is to hold and love children that you technically have no “rights” to. I can’t even sign my daughter’s permission slips. Hang in there.
I know how difficult that is. I have the same issue with my step-children and it hurts so much to be told I am not their parent.
what a great story you have.
thanks
Wow Rita, bless your heart. Really. You must have a heart full of love and a spirit of forgiveness and sharing of your soul. Those are not always common qualities nowadays.
Your children are blessed to have you as their mother, as you are to have them.
Thank you Wendy, I feel truly blessed.
I just hit on this amazing little picture and had to stop and see. I know you had recently mentioned the little ones were born from another mom, but really Rita, children are innocent and their minds are open and hearts open to ANY love. What you give them is what they need and deserve. You should be proud of your unselfish love for them…to nurture and care for them and see beyond the situation. I hope some day all of your dreams and wishes come true. Wow, You are quite amazing. And I don’t think ANY one holds judgment on your decisions. I have been in a situation where my husband left…and made me feel quite inadequate for about…a few months. Then I went on to forage through and thought, hey, ya cant make someone stay and ya can’t make someone love you. He came back begging and I did “take him back”. Honestly,I did so…tried, so that my kids would know I tried and they would never hate me for not. But it made this man grow up to be an adult man…for the most part. Situations call for reflection and forgiveness and sometimes just sensibility. Others might never understand it…they dont have to. They dont LIVE in your life.
Eileen,
I wish you could have been here when I made that decision. Most of my family does not understand it. I have been criticized for taking him back, for taking on children that weren’t mine, for marrying him to begin with because he is Mexican. Every time something goes wrong I hear “I told you that is how they are.” What no one seems to understand is that you can’t control who you love or how you feel. I know in the depths of my soul that he loves me as I love him. Things just get mixed up somehow. He has a fear of being hurt and his defense is to hurt first. He simply cannot help it no matter how hard he tries. He is working on it though.
Some how I missed this story when you posted it back in September. I did read a more recent article where you posted about the twins not being your biologically. If you are raising them then you are their mother. I hope that you are able to have one yourself, I didn’t know you were struggling with fertility. Just remember God knows the plan he has for us and they are plans to “prosper us”.
Saint or now, it takes a great deal of character and strength to do what you did. Those children are very lucky to have the mother that chose them.
God has not forgotten you. He is waiting for the right moment to give you such blessing. He shows you every day his love for you. Have faith. xo