This was our first Easter without Edgar here and it was both good and bittersweet. The kids of course never noticed or if they did they mention it. They enjoyed their baskets and had a really good day.
For me I felt badly because I had such high hopes for my life an looking at their little faces as we took pictures made me feel like a failure. As my family all sent me pictures of their families I felt worst. It was just one of those things I guess.
I made sure the kids had their baskets and gifts ( we give little gifts) and I made sure they all got something from him. They talked to him via Skype . I of course had to go to the store so I would not have have any contact. Childish I know but yesterday just wasn’t the day for me to talk with him or to be honest hear his voice.
It ended better than it began though. I was having a good cry when I heard one of the twins waking up after everyone had gone to bed. I went in to check and picked Samuel up so I could get back to sleep. He took his little hand, wiped my face and said “mamamama” It was his first word!! It was just what I needed!
![\\\\\\\"\\\\\\\"](\\\\\\\"https://d5nxst8fruw4z.cloudfront.net/atrk.gif?account=r2cEh1aAod000d\\\\\\\")
I am sorry it was a little tough for you. But what an amazing way to end the day! There is nothing like the love of a child to help us through any situation. It is as if Samuel knew you need to hear those words to give you strength.
It was and he hasn’t spoken since that night. He looks at me now and just smiles like he is keeping a secret that only the two of us knows.
Sorry to hear that your day was painful..it will get better and fyi..you are not a failure! Let your children’s laughter and smiles remind you of these daily!
Thank you! They give me the strength to get though and there are days when I am much stronger than I ever was.
God knew you needed an uplifting moment at days end. I am sorry you had a bittersweet day. The kids only know that you are there for them…that is the security they need. And it’s not a bad thing that they know your sadness. A family helps each other…even though it’s not their job to fix things , they do know when mom needs some love and kindness. You are teaching them well…and leaving was not a bad thing…it was a moment of self preservation. It was not unholy or unGodly. You are supposed to love yourself!
I think he did and I know that I needed to do what I needed to do. Loving myself is something that has never been easy.
What a sweet moment with Samuel, kids can be so sensitive to our emotions. I am sorry you had a rough Easter. I pray that as time goes on it will get easier for you. Just remember that God will sustain you.
Thank you. Most days it is okay, I manage but I know that the holidays will be rough this year.
It sounds like you gave your kids a beautiful Easter, though I know it’s hard not to compare what is with what might have been. I’m glad your day ended on such a sweet note – you will remember that forever!
Yes I did and looking back now I am thankful that it was the way it was. I will never forget Samuel’s first words and I am glad it was something between the two of us.
I pray that you find peace this tough time in your life. What a blessing to have little angels on Earth by your side. We don’t have children (yet) but it sounds like you had a most wonderful moment for Easter. Sending good thoughts to you and your family; and prayers.
Diana C