Explaining death to kids is not always an easy task. My aunt passed away a few months ago and telling the kids was hard and easy all at the same time. I remember when my father passed away and my nephews didn’t know right away. They were very young and my brother wasn’t sure how to explain everything to them.
His oldest son was with me and my father’s brother when we explained that Poppa was never coming home again and that he could not see him at the hospital. I will never forget the sound of that little boy’s heartbreaking and he cried. It tore me up and I swore I would never do that to another child. Reese, my youngest nephew, found out about his Papa Ed right away and to this day he still prays for him and sometimes cries so hard about it.
Kids handle death the same way as adults but there are some kids that feel things much more deeply and that is where things get tricky. Explaining to the kids that Aunt Margie had died was hard because there were a lot of questions. It was easy because they knew she had been sick and that she was in a better place. Not hiding or down playing her illness helped a lot.
Not to mention the faith that they have. They know that she is with God and that one day we will all get to see one another again. It is the adults who deal with the hard stuff but this was one task that wasn’t as difficult as I built up in my mind.
I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.
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I have to agree with how difficult it is. I lost my parents and 2 brothers at early ages and to explain to my kids that they wouldn’t see them anymore was very difficult. And their deaths was sudden so no time to prepare, etc. Very difficult
So sorry for your losses Rita. I have not had to do this and I am glad honestly. Children feel things on such a raw level that is can be heartbreaking. I am glad that yours understand that their loved ones are with God and that knowledge helps them.
Wow—this is so difficult. I think the most important thing is to recognize a kid’s feelings, to let him know that you know that he grieving and that those feelings are important.
I think this is one of the more difficult things we have to deal with as parents. Luckily my children have not had to go through the death of a grandparent, aunt or uncle. There have been other deaths that they have gone through and they dealt well with them. I just worry that they will be devastated when someone like a grandparent dies. I hope and pray that is many more years down the road.
Last year my grandma past away my son was too young to understand but my daughter is 19 and it was hard for her. I hope that I won’t have to explain death to my son for a very long time.
I dealt with this recently with my son and the death of a pet. It was difficult for all of us.
I’m very sorry for your loss and I just have to say that this was a very helpful and informative post. You’re definitely right about faith making things a little easier to explain to children. My son is three and he’s expressed to us that “papa’s in the clouds” whenever we talk about my grandfather. It’s unfortunate that he never had the chance to meet someone who was such a huge part of my life for so long but it’s nice to be able to tell my son that he’ll have the chance to meet him one day in Heaven. Great post. As always, thank you for sharing this with the rest of us.
Best,
Kate
When my son was 4, his great-grandmother on his dad’s side passed. He was very close to her and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. He had not been around anyone or anywhere where he could have overheard about her death. I sat him down to try and explain it to him and he stopped me. He said Big Granny told him she’s an angel now and will watch over him forever. He said he was sad she wasn’t here but he could talk to her whenever wanted. By the way, he also had never been to church. Gave me chills at the time, but he seemed to be ok about it all so that was good.
I remember when my grandparent died and I wasn’t allowed to attend his services. I was eleven and we were very close. I believe when a family member dies the children, grandchildren, etc. should be able to make their own decision about saying goodbye. I’ll never forget that I wasn’t allowed.
This is a very difficult discussion with kids to have. Thank goodness I haven’t had to explain to my kids about death yet but when I do im hoping I have the right words to tell them!