Faithful parenting is not always an easy task because my patience is tried on a daily basis. I want my children to know that everything I do I do to of love for them and by the grace of God. Yet how do I convey that while still showing that I am the mother and must be listened to. When I look back on my own childhood I can see it that it seemed much easier for my parents.
When they told me to do something I did it because they were my parents and I respected them. I now face friends and peers who tell my children that they don’t have to listen and that I should buy them the newest game or whatever it is. When I don’t buy it then I am a bad parent and when I do I am wonderful unless it is the wrong thing. There are many arguments because I am just a step-mother who doesn’t have to be listened to.
It is in those moments that I pray to God for the patience to not pull my hair out. I pray that he gives me the answer to the problem I am facing in that moment. He usually does and it is not always the answer the kids like. I don’t buy things just because all the other kids have them.My children earn their rewards. Gifts are reserved for birthdays, holidays, and those very special occasions. I don’t mean good grades either as those are expected.
While in their eyes that makes me harsh and not always the most popular parent, it is who I am. It is also who I hope God is leading me to be.
I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.
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I go through this with my own children and I am not the stepmother. I have been having a lot of trouble getting my teenager to understand that if I tell her she can’t do something outside of regular school activities because she’s not doing her chores, that it’s not meant as a punishment. It is meant to be a treat that she earns. She might not always like the choices that I make for her, but she does need to listen to me because I have her best interests at heart.
It’s tough isn’t it? Sometimes I look back on myself growing up and I think if I said or did half of that my parents would have killed me.
I think a big part of the problem is that kids now a days are so used to having everything instantly. They go online and the information is there, they order things and boom it’s there. They don’t know what it is like to have to wait or work hard for things. I think a lot of kids have the attitude that they are untitled to things. We have tried to teach or kids that you have to earn things. You can just expect someone to give you everything you want.
As far as other parents. I don’t really care what they think of my parenting. We tell our kids the they have friends. We are their parents and not their friends. We will do what we have to do as parents.
I agree. We want them to earn the things the receive.
I’m not a stepparent and yet I often feel similar. We live in a world of instant gratification. It’s hard to teach your children about the benefits of working hard and waiting. Patience is a virtue, going without is a life skill. I hope you stick to your guns in the toughest situations. Someday your children step or not, may even thank you for the lesson.
I respect your parenting rules such as earning rewards. My son also got good grades and did.t get rewarded, but complimented. I believe your struggle is real: I also know you can overcome it and thrive happily. Best.
Parenting is a hard task, I have 3 daughters and each one was different, we didn’t do anything any different, I remember growing up and having so much respect for my parents, today’s generations it seems they don’t care at all, I do know if it’s because so many children raise themselves and this rubs off onto my girls but come on.
I also have similar issues with my own children, We also buy gifts mainly for birthdays and holidays with very few exceptions. My kids are still young but I stick to my answer and tell them they could ask for the item for Christmas or birthday if they really want it… We can’t buy everything and anything we see. I’m hoping to teach them that they need to save and work to get the things they want.
I am a stepmother of two. it is quite challenging. I love it very much but it is quite stressful.
Good parents are the ones who learn to say “no” and mean it when it comes to kids wanting everything that comes into their field of vision. I truly believe that children come to respect parents who set and keep limits. I know I do and my children are the most loving and devoted kids in the world. That doesn’t mean they are always happy with me or that they don’t complain when I say no, but I think in the end, they are learning that I am their parent and, ultimately, what I say goes. That’s an important life lesson.
I go through this also. 🙂 We are who we are and we can only do what we can do.