How To Share Parental Time After Separation

Separating with a partner when you have kids together means having to share parental time. Just how should you agree to separate this time? This guide offers a few tips to create a fair system for both you, your ex partner and the kids. 

Determine the primary carer

Splitting parental time equally between two parents often isn’t practical. Your kids are likely to be much more settled having one place that they can call their main address. This means that you have to choose a primary carer (the parent who will spend the most time with the children). 

You should start by considering which of you already spends the most time with the kids. If your children are used to being with their mother most of the time, it may make sense to keep it this way and choose them as the primary carer.

You should then consider what is less disruptive for your kids and what is most practical for you and your ex partner. If your ex partner is now living in another town, giving them the role of primary carer could mean having to get the kids to change school if you cannot reasonably get the kids to school on time. Similarly, if your ex partner works inflexible shifts that are long or unsociable, it may not be a good idea to give them the role of primary carer unless they’re willing to get a new job they can work around childcare.

You should also consider who is more responsible and willing to provide care. This can be where things can get a little difficult, as no parent will admit they are not as responsible. However, you may have to put your foot down if you think your ex partner is neglectful or abusive and not worthy of being a primary carer. 

Develop a routine

Kids are likely to be more content after a separation if they have a routine they can follow. This could include letting kids see their non-primary parent every other weekend or on specific weekdays each week. 

Consider a routine that is practical for both you, your ex partner and your kids. If your ex partner lives quite far away, it may not always be possible for kids to see them every week.

Make exceptions for holidays and special occasions

Kids should still be able to see their parents on special occasions like birthdays or Fathers Day. These may not fit in with your scheduled routine, but are worth making exceptions for.

Your ex partner may also occasionally want to take the kids away on vacation. You should allow this providing that they give enough warning in advance. Similarly, you should tell your ex partner several weeks in advance if you are planning a vacation with the kids.

Know when to get legal support

You and your ex partner may not always agree as to what is fair when it comes to sharing parental time. Don’t be afraid to hire help from a law firm such as State 48 Law Firm that can help you come to an agreement if you cannot come to a decision amicably.

It’s worth noting that you can contest parental time at a later date if you feel a previous agreement should be altered. For example, if you feel that your ex partner is relying too heavily on hiring childcare when you are free and available to look after the kids, it could be worth contesting previous agreed parental time.

Know when to let kids have a say

In states like Georgia, kids have a right to choose which parent they want to live with once they turn 14. It’s important to respect their wishes if they choose that they don’t want to live with you, although you may still be able to contest the decision if you think they were coerced.

Kids will usually be quite co-operative when it comes to following parental decisions as to who they spend time with. It is older kids over 10 who are more likely to throw up a fuss. Make sure to listen to what your kids have to say, while helping them to understand your decisions.