Most Embarrassing Hospital Visit Ever!

We all have that one visit to the hospital, emergency room, or doctor’s office that is just embarrassing. There is something about the visit that is just the worst. I had that months ago when I had to take a trip to the emergency room. I take a pill called Lasix, which makes me pee like nine million times a day. The purpose of it is to keep excess fluid away from my heart and lungs. It works and works well. Trust me, most days I pee like there’s no tomorrow.

However, after his particular take, I couldn’t pee at all. It felt like I had to all day, but nothing was happening. I called the doctor and they suggested taking an additional Lasix in the hopes that it would help move things along a little better. The nurse told me to wait an hour and if it wasn’t working, to head to the emergency room. So that’s what I did. I waited about two hours because I wanted to be sure the medicine wasn’t going to work. 

Nothing, so off to the emergency room I headed. I explained what was going on and that I wanted to be seen. Once I got back there, the doctor came in and checked things out. He then told me they needed to do an ultrasound of my bladder to see how full it was. After doing that, he came in and said they were going to insert a catheter. I have never had one of those in my life. I may have had them during surgery, but they were gone by the time I woke up.

The two nurses began setting things up while I lay on the bed, spread eagle. Okay, not really, but it felt that way. Then I hear one hurt say, “Opps!” What do you mean, opps? That is not the word you want to hear while they are anywhere near that particular area. They just laughed and said it was nothing. Lord, I hope it wasn’t because to this day I still don’t know what the opps were all about. They got everything in and things were looking okay. They say they are going to come back in a little while to give things time to work.

An hour or two later, the doctor comes in and suggests that I go see a urologist. Okay, why and when would that be? He said on Monday since this was a Friday night. When I asked what would happen with the catheter, he said that they would just strap it to my leg and the urologist would remove it on Monday. I am certain his horror showed on my face because all I kept thinking was “NO WAY!” I mean, can you just imagine it? I was going to have a pee bag strapped to my leg all weekend. With my luck, that thing would have burst while I was asleep or something. I mean, I certainly couldn’t go anywhere with it. 

The entire visit was more than a little humiliating. In the end, I didn’t have to have the bag strapped to my leg. The problem was the potassium I was taking. I had too much in my system. The funny thing is that they have me on potassium because of the Lasix. When you take Lasix, it can lower your potassium levels since you pee so much. Oh, the joys of modern medicine!