Never Gonna Be Skinny

I am a plus size gal and it has taken me years to be okay with that. I am working on losing weight although it seems I am always working on that. I have hit a sort of wall I think. I am at 227 and have been there for more than six months now. I don’t know why. I began drinking less and less sodas each day, hoping that would be a step in the right direction. I mean my sister in-law stopped and lost like ten pounds in three days just from no sodas.

When I first began to really try to lose some weight I thought I needed to be my ideal weight. You know the weight listed on the chart for your age, height, gender, etc. There is no way I am ever going to be that. It is like 90-100 lbs for me. Even when I was thinner and much healthier I wasn’t that.

Attempting to reach what I now see as an unrealistic goal had me spending years on a disastrous track. One that led me to weigh 227 pounds. The constant diets and then the binge eating had me spiraling out of control. I felt like I was a slave to the scale and if I gained an ounce I would end up binge eating because of bad I felt.

Four months ago I stopped the cycle. Not for any reason other than I had a moment of clarity. That 100 pounds ain’t happening and I am okay with that. I don’t need to be that,I just need to be healthier. If ask I would say my ideal personally would be somewhere between 125 and 140. However, if I can get down to 165 I will celebrate. At this point under 200 would have me dancing a jig.

Weight lose is a slow process now that I am older. It moves at a snail’s pace but I am no longer a slave to the scale. I do weigh myself, twice a month. Anything more than that will leave me obsessed again. If i have gained a little, so what. It could be anything such as PMS. As long as I am not gaining more than five pounds I am okay.