- Ed Yourdon / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)
One thing that I realized is that when I share the separation and things I am going through with all of you all you hear is my side of things. After all that is the purpose of a blog.
However that can also make the other person look so horrible when the blame is not all one sided. While, yes he did leave and I honestly don’t have a clue as to what is going to on. I know that I have to shoulder some of the blame.
I spent so long putting everyone else first or saying we needed to wait to do things and pushing. I am a big pusher! He wanted to brood and I kept pushing and pushing until he got angry. Along with a million other little things that built up. I am not trying to excuse anything he did or the way he has handled things. We are both equally to blame for things and only we can move forward whether that is together or apart.
That is something that I have accepted and I think that accepting it helps in the moving on process. If that is what you can call it. Our current status is still UNKNOWN but to be honest right now that is okay with me. I have other things to worry about it.
I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.
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It sounds like you are making some good discoveries. Sometimes accepting things are the way they are is not so easy to do.
I think it’s good that you realize that it’s just one person to blame. I also think there is something to be said about the fact that you have always been the type of person to put others wants and needs first. That’s just who you are. So no one can expect you to change who you are at the core. It comes down to the fact that you both need to be true to yourselves. I hope things work out how ever you want them to.
So true. It’s impossible to judge objectively from the outside, but as the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. Of course, readers who follow your blogs are going to be inclined to side with you! Wishing you the best, whatever that turns out to be.
So very true and it takes a humble person to admit that they also share the blame.
I wish other people would realize that all the blame is not just on “the other person”! I know a lot of people who are separated or going through a divorce, yet, it’s not THEIR fault! You are a very humble person to be able to admit that you too share some of the blame!! I am proud to call you my friend 🙂
Part of being able to accept and to forgive is to look at the whole picture. So many will not do that because they don’t want to see their part in a situation and want to play the victim. Victims stay stuck and wont move forward. We know you will!
Sounds like you have a good attitude. Getting a divorce can be one of the most painful things ever and if that happens to you, I wish you all the support in the world. I know, I’ve been there.