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Do What I Say

Abdulmajeed Al.mutawee || twitter.com/almutawee / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

When I was growing up my daddy would say “Do what I say, not what I do.” It was his answer for many different occasions and I swore I would never use it until the day that I did. When it first came out I couldn’t believe that I said it but then I realized that almost every parent in the world has probably used this line at one point or another.

If you have not yet used it, you will. The reason is that you want your children to be better than you were. We want them to do the things we say and not the things we did. We have already learned from our mistakes and we want them not repeat them.Teaching them to do what you say is often easier said than done. After all actions speak louder than words ever could. So watching you hit someone and then saying to them not to hit is like talking to a brick wall. You can say it until the end of time but the wall isn’t going to understand it.

For me that has meant learning to watch my language much more. I never really used swear words but in the last few years they have become a larger part of my vocabulary. It’s funny I grew up around service men and heard all sorts of language but it wasn’t until I was an adult that really starting using it. The problem is now the kids have begun trying to see if they can use and you can forget spelling anything because they will say “I know what you mean.”

Have you ever told your children to do what you say and not what you do?

Rita
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I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.

Comments

  3. I remember the day I sounded like my Mom, I always said that I would never say that to my child, I told my Mom about it and she laughed..yes we want our children to better than us, it’s because we love them so much

  4. if I think if I said but the kids are so smart that they look at an example that you give them and they do that not what you say but what you do. that’s why we do things the best we can for our students are very good!

  5. I don’t think I have used that line (yet, anyway.) I relate to what you wrote about language, though. My husband is a bit of a potty mouth and I have my moments. When we slip and use bad language in front of the girls we usually stop and say something like, “those are adult words.” We usually point out that we don’t use words like that at work or around people we don’t know well. That strategy has worked pretty well, actually.

  6. Oh I have used it many times. I vowed not to say it when I had kids also. That vow was broken long ago. I think it comes down to the fact that we want our kids to learn from our mistakes or the lessons we learned. It does come down to the fact that we want better fro our children.

  7. Yes!!! LOL Very many times. I think it happens alot of times when they are trying to actually BE like us!!

  8. ha-I love this! I don’t have children yet, but I’m a teacher, so I often catch myself saying something that I wouldn’t necessarily want them to say. .haha

  9. I don’t think I have told them this. I know they learn more from what I do than what I say, after the first word comes out of my mouth they are tuned out.

  10. I have said this when my kids were younger it would not work when they got older lol they would probably laugh Its sad though as we wish to save our kids from the same mistakes we made BUT that would be the only way they would learn is by making the mistakes on their own

  11. I can see myself saying this to my kids in the future. right now my daughter is still to young. she is 17 months. so she is still to young to understand and basically just knows NO. But i definitely agree that the mistakes that i have made in my life, i would not want my daughter and baby on the way to relive those! i know they will still make mistakes, we are all human, but for them to make their own so they can learn from that

  12. I had to laugh because I too said I will never say that, but after all we are a product of what we learn. My son is grown but I have a five year old step son. When he is here I try my hardest to only say and do what I would not be embarrassed or ashamed if did too. This is so very hard but life is journey and we will make mistakes.

  14. I know I have used some not so nice words in which I should not be, I have come to the point of making a jar and having to put money in it every time it happens or someone else does.. and yes I also have said things feeling because I do want my children to be better than I was……….

  15. I have tried my hardest not to. I try to lead by example, but sometimes it’s difficult. I have been so tempted to pull this one out, like when my son caught me smoking. Ruh-roh! But, good thing he’s smarter than I am. 😉

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