September Parenting Chronicles

I told y’all that I would be sharing funny parenting stories and mor from not only my childhood but also from my children’s as well. This month I thought I would share with you a few of my less than stellar babysitting moments. Well, not just any moments but some that my youngest brother and I shared.

THE BOX

Actually this first one isn’t that bad. It’s kind of sweet when you think about it. My nieces and nephews had gotten a swing set for my parents house for Christmas. This was the last one we had with my dad. Ma and dad were at the store and since our father couldn’t do it anymore he told my brother and I too put the swing together. We unloaded the box and then spent the next thirty minutes playing with our niece and the dog in the box. In fact, we didn’t stop until our father called and said we had better be putting the set together and not playing. He knew us so well.

POOP EXPLOSION

We were left with another once who was small enough to be in a playpen. She was in there upstairs sleeping when we heard the first noise. We went up in time to watch her walk out of the bedroom. She had stacked the pillows together and climbed herself right out. We put her back in, moved the pillows, and left her to take her nap. A little while later we heard noise again and went running up the stairs.

She had woken up and dug poop out of her diaper and threw it everywhere. I’m talking every possible surface in this room was covered. Not to mention the full diaper she still had. We were gagging and cleaning all while she laughed liked the little demon she was. We laid her on the bed to change her which really wasn’t a big deal. Expect some poop fell right into her open mouth. I will spare you the next hour of tears, puke, and other gross details. Needless to say when our mother came home she had to go right back out and buy new bed linens and carpet. All we can say to this day is we tried.

I BET

Years, later the same poopy niece was at our house when she fell off the swing. She hit her head and her mother freaked out. I’m one of those rare people who are cal. In a crisis ( a non poop crisis that is) and told my sister to relax. I checked my niece over and didn’t see a bump and when my niece passed out for a second or two I told my sister to take her the emergency room.

They came back with instructions to watch her but that she was fine. Ma and my sister went to get food while I watched my niece. My brother happened to be laying on the couch and our niece crawled up there, looked him in the eyes and said “ my head hurts.” My brother in all his compassion replied “ I bet.” Really? She laughed with him like it was the funniest thing in the world.

WE WANTED TO SEE IF IT HURT

My two nephew’s mother called once and told my older brother to come take one of their sons to the emergency room. Why she didn’t I have no idea. So, I go with him so I can watch the other son. My nephew and I are sitting in the car outside the hospital when I asked him what happened. He told me that he had told his brother to put his finger in the scissors so he could cut it.

When I asked him why on earth would he do something like that he said because they wanted to see if it would hurt. When his brother came out with fifteen stitches and my brother madder than a hornet I asked if it hurt. He told me it did but now he would have a cool scar. Y was response was “ You’re gonna have worse than that when your dad finally calms down and gets a hold of y’all. “ You could see the steam coming off my brother and you can only imagine the shouting match him and his ex had when we went back to the house,

WELL THAT DIDN’T GO AS PLANNED

Another time my youngest brother and I were letting the air out of one of those big inflatable jungle gym, swimming pool things. You know the kind I’m talking about. We were folding it and throwing ourselves on it the part that still had air to see how high we could make the other one jump. You should know that we were both adults while doing this but sometimes you just have to act goofy. My other brother’s three children were there and the boys were playing with us. His daughter asked if she could play too and we said yes.

This is where I should say that (1) she didn’t get hurt at all except maybe her pride and (2) we didn’t think about the fact that this poor child only weighed about fifteen pounds soaking wet. She laid down on the folded section we jumped and she went flying across the yard. My younger brother said ” Well that didn’t go as planned.” I mean really? She started screaming, my older brother thought her brothers had done something to her, and me… I was doing my best not to laugh and to get her to shut up at the same time. Needless to say we got into trouble when Ma came out of the house that day.

I would like to add that all of my nieces and nephews adore me. I am their favorite aunt and given the choice they would much rather be with me than anyone else. I just had some questionable babysitting habits. Not really, we just didn’t always think things through which I am certain you have noticed is a theme we have going on. what is life without some fun though?

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUNNY BABYSITTING OR PARENTING STORIES? SHARE THEM WITH US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.