Struggling with Body Image

I passed by the mirror in my bedroom recently and saw myself. I have put back on a few pounds and am struggling a bit with the diet the doctor has me on. It is something we are working on together. Anyway, I looked in the mirror and all I thought was, “What a fat slob.” There was no reason for the thought, it was just how I felt in the moment. Body image is something that, like millions of women, I struggle with. On a good image day, I may pass by the mirror and think, “Wow! I look at how much weight I have lost, or maybe even that I just look good in what I am wearing. On bad days, I tend to call myself names and really give myself a hard time over what I ate recently. 

As women, most of us are constantly trying to change something about our bodies. It doesn’t matter what it is, we feel it needs to be changed. Maybe it is the mole we need removed, or maybe the man in our lives made an off-handed comment about our tummy fat. Ask yourself right now to name five things you want to change about your body. I bet every single one of you could name those five things without thinking about them.

In fact, in the comments below, let them know how many things you managed to do without giving it a thought. I am curious about this. About how many flaws we see in ourselves and our bodies.

I will even go first to help make it easier.

1. Lose the belly fat: I have a lot of it and I would love for it to be gone.
2. Rosacea This drives me crazy, and right now it is like a giant red beacon on my face.
3. Toned arms would be fabulous. I mean, I wave goodbye, but the bottom half of my arms continue to wave.
4. A boob job! My poor girls need a lift and a tuck something terribly. I’m getting older and they are starting to show it.
5. Be Taller. Okay this one is never happening but it sure would be nice to be just a little bit taller.

 It took me less than five minutes to name all of those. It is a shame that it is that way, but until we make a conscious effort to change the way we see and think about ourselves, it won’t. That is something that I have been striving to do for some time now. 

I am working towards being kinder to myself. My body is going through a lot and has been through a lot over the years. I am not young and will never look like the models and influencers I see. I am plus-sized and changes will always be that way. Even when I get down to the weight the doctors want me to be at, I will still be a clothing size bigger than what is considered ideal or beautiful.

I have to love my body the way it is. It is doing amazing things. My body is fighting with itself just to stay alive. It is struggling with every single heartbeat to function as best as it can. If that is not amazing, I don’t know what is. So it has a little extra flab here or there. So what if my rosacea is out of control at the moment? My poor body is allowed to have those moments. Things will get better and I refuse to give into the body image struggle any longer. I am me in all of my glory. Imperfections, flaws, and all.