Sadly, for some people, there comes a time in their lives when they need to help their parents out and support them due to declining health. Nearly 18 million family members in the US are caregivers to aging parents or family members over 65 right now. This number is expected to grow due to people living longer.
There could be many reasons why you need to support senior parents, from poor physical health, cognitive disorders or decline, or mental health conditions that make it hard for them to support themselves.
Being able to care for your loved ones when they need it is an admirable thing to do. However, not everyone is in a position to be able to provide round-the-clock care. Some people simply live too far away to be there constantly and give them the support they need; others have busy family lives or careers they need to manage and cannot devote time to being a full-time caregiver. Others might not be physically able to do what is required due to their own physical or mental health conditions, there are numerous reasons why people aren’t able to care for their parents as they wish.
But they can still offer help, advice, and support to ensure their parents get the help they need to move forward with their lives and be cared for as they need it.
If this sounds like you, this post has some suggestions on how to support your senior loved ones now.
Discuss Living Arrangements
In the first instance, discuss their living arrangements with them. Ascertain whether or not they can live independently in their own home or if they need support. You can look into in-home caregivers to give them a bit more support when they’re alone if required or talk to them about the possibility of moving into assisted living apartments for seniors if they need more help and care.
It might be they’re struggling to keep on top of cleaning, cooking, and basic hygiene, or they are struggling to navigate their home due to needing additional mobility aids. Another reason for people choosing to live in retirement communities very similar to benchmark at hanover (or one nearer where you currently are) and assisted living facilities is to combat loneliness and get the medical care they might need for ongoing health conditions.
Broach the topic carefully, and don’t bulldoze your way into forcing them into a decision they are not 100% comfortable with. This won’t make the change any easier or better for anyone involved. Take the time to browse around these guys and get enough information to help you broach the subject more easily.
Check-In, Listen and Look
Listening to your loved ones and paying attention to what they say can be an eye-opening experience. Especially as many seniors say they feel shut out or unheard when they talk or what they say is being ignored or brushed off.
Be sure to check in regularly, pay attention to what they say, and read between the lines by looking at other aspects, not just the words coming out of their mouth.
Do they look how they usually do, or are they letting hygiene and grooming standards slip when previously they didn’t? Is the house looking slightly more messy than usual, or are chores piling up. When you check-in, you can use this time to uncover more than what you are being told; plus, by listening to what your seniors are saying, you can help make improvements and remedy their concerns if they have any and make a massive difference.
Gentle Encouragement
Gentle encouragement goes a long way for anyone, not just seniors. Avoid being overly harsh even if you feel frustrated with them or they are being uncharacteristically awkward. Try to introduce ideas without any expectations, be it a change of address, visiting the doctor, or getting help around the home. Whatever it is, you need to be tactical when talking about things that they need to do or will help them so they don’t feel like you are strong arming them into doing something they’re not ready to but leaving the idea with them so they can think about it.
Inclusion
Try to include them in all aspects of your life as much as possible. Be it inviting them for lunch, spending time in your home, eating them for shopping trips, or getting the groceries. Whatever it is you do in your regular schedule, ask them if they would like to join you to get them out of the house or spend more time with them to check on how they’re doing. More than one-third of adults over 45 say they feel lonely, and this is one in four of those aged 65 and over.
Loneliness is often described as the silent killer, and it is often the easiest senior complaint to rectify. Spend time with your loved ones, pay attention to them, and don’t let them feel discarded simply because you have a busy lifestyle.
Encourage Physical Activities and Hobbies
A sedentary lifestyle isn’t healthy for anyone, but those over 64 are more at risk from a lack of exercise than people in their 20s. Encourage them to join local groups or community initiatives to help them get out, meet others, and stay active. Look into exercise groups for seniors, book clubs, or social events they can attend.
Talk to them about what they would like to do or what they can physically manage to do each day and what they think about connecting with others. If they’d rather not join a club or social activity, maybe you can come up with a compromise and do something together or find something that can be done at home.
Schedule Regular Doctors Appointments
If they have many health issues or need treatment for chronic conditions, work with them and their doctors to ensure that all appointments are kept, and they are caring for their health and taking their medication as they are supposed to.
For people with diminished mental capacity or rapidly deteriorating conditions, it can be worth talking to them about who they would like to be responsible for their medical decisions if they are unable to make a choice for themselves. This can also include a medical directive that allows you to intervene on their behalf regarding medical care, decisions, treatment options, and more. You can make sure they have their prescriptions filled, and you get a say in what happens and be included in their care moving forward.
Healthy Diets
Encouraging your parents or relatives to embrace a healthy diet as they reach their senior years is a good idea. This can help them to support good health and avoid causing more health complications. A diet full of fruits, vegetables, whole foods, lean meats, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates can help give their bodies everything they need to support their lifestyle and the nutrients they need.
It might be a struggle for them to eat, or they might not have much of an appetite; in this case, you can work with their primary care physician or specialist to do a special diet or supplements can help them retain their strength and energy levels and make sure they are getting what they need from their diets. It can be a good idea to include supplements as long as they don’t interfere with other medications they are taking to avoid them becoming deficient in the case of low appetites, being unable to digest certain foods, or absorbing some vitamins from foods.
If you can’t provide full-time, round-the-clock care you can make a difference by supporting good health in your senior parents or loved ones. To do this effectively you need to be actively interested in their life to help support them how they need it and ensure that even if you can’t be there all the time, you can still be as involved as they would like you to be.
I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.
Kim Henrichs says
All such great advice. I just spent two years as a live in care taker for my dad. There’s so much to know that we are never told as young people.
Audrey Stewart says
I just never want to be a burden to my children. I would’ve taken care of my mom forever, but I never had the chance.
Tina F says
All good things to consider and think about. Discussing these issues can be hard but so very important.