The Cancer Center

Not so long ago, a couple of months to be exact, I had to visit the Cancer Center of our local hospital. If you have been with me for a little while then you most likely have read the updates each week and a bit about the journey. I will say that I was so nervous when I was told I would have to see a doctor here and have tests done. My white blood count was too out of wack for far too long for my primary care physician to be happy. He wanted to know what was going on and this was the place to find out. 

Wow! It’s SO Nice

The first thing I noticed when I walked in was how nice everything look. I mean the building itself was newish. It was build a few years ago but inside still had that new feeling to it. Like someone had freshly painted it and cleaned things up just for me. Although I will say the fact that it was as quiet as it was disturbed me a little. It was so quiet, like in a movie before something bad happens. It just lacked the noise that many offices and hospitals do. In fact, that picture is from the waiting room and as you can see it is new. 

Everyone Is Friendly

Another thing that struck me was how nice everyone was. From the moment I walked into the building they were just so nice and upbeat. The lady at the check in desk knew my name before I gave it to her. When I went upstairs for my appointment they all called me by my name.  Most of the time, at any doctor’s office or hospital the people are nice but they were sickly sweet almost here. 

Realizing

Of course it was after I came out of the center the first time that it all dawned on me. They are so nice because people inside that building are fighting for their lives! The people who go to this place are dying. I felt like such an a**! I mean how could it have not dawned on me inside. In order to get to the elevators you have to walk pass the wig shop. 

All I can say in my defense is that I was so nervous going into this appointment. I didn’t think there was a problem until my doctor pointed it out. Not to mention they told me to wear comfortable clothing since a bone marrow test was going to be performed that day as well. I was sacred that on top of heart failure I had cancer. 

Now I feel Bad

I felt so bad and while yes some of that could have been the tests I had to go through. The fact they had to stick me in my hand because they couldn’t get a vein to open in my arm for blood test didn’t help either. I told myself it would be okay and that I would be a little more sensitive the next time since I realized what was going on. 

Again, they all knew my name and asked about my family. Several patients even began asking as I wanting to see the doctor. I learned some of their names and made sure I was nicer than normal. I should say that I just made myself sound awful. I’m a very nice person. I just like to keep to myself and don’t normally talk much in the waiting room. I don’t do well in social settings.

Okay, Could This Make Me Feel Worse?

Anyway, the fact that everyone was just so nice and wonderful and I didn’t grasp the why initially made me feel bad. Then I went for what would be my final visit and let me tell you I could not feel any worse afterward.  They doctor tells me all my tests were negative. I don’t have cancer but have a few other concerns to deal with. That means I no longer have to go to the Cancer Center. I’m thrilled because I was worried.

The nurse walks me out, they always do, and tells the girl at the desk that I am being released. No more appointments. All of the ladies at eh desk start clapping. Then the patients waiting clap as well. All the way to the elevators these people are clapping and cheering for me. I get to the ground floor and when I step out they begin clapping and cheering.

I walked out, got into the car, and cried for fifteen minutes before I could leave. They were clapping and cheering because being released means no more cancer! Talk about feeling bad. I didn’t have cancer to begin with even though they did think that it was possible I did. I went through the tests but nothing like what some of the other patients go through. 

Humbled

The entire experience humbled in a way I don’t think I have ever been humbled. The staff here takes the time to get to know each patient. Many of whom will never make it. They make connections with them. They sit with some of them at the worse moments of the lives.

The patients here all have something in common. It’s not like going to the cardiologist where not everyone has heart failure. Those patients are seeing their doctor for various reasons. While at the Cancer Center they are all there for the same reason. They may not have the same type of cancer but in the end they have cancer. 

While I hope to never have to see the inside of the center again I am glad that I went through the experience. It made me appreciate things just  a little bit more.