The Greatest Joy in My Life

As a parent I am supposed to say my children. As a daughter I should say my mother. As a sister I could say my siblings. Get where I’m going here. While all of those people are great joys and blessings in my life my greatest joy is much more simpler.

It is the little bit of time I get when the world (at least everyone in my world) is sleeping. Whether that time Is before they wake or after they go to bed I get the most joy out of that time. It that little bit of time when it is only me. I am left with my thoughts from the day or the day to come.

It’s my time to reflect on things, make plans, or just read. I a, so many things to so many different people that there are weeks where I don’t know where one day begins and another ends. I need those moments to make sense of the craziness that is my life. It gets hectic, I forget to take out things for dinner, or worst I decide to try something new and burn it. Things don’t go according to plan.

Then I will have a morning like this morning where everything is quiet in my bedroom except the little snores from Sam because he had a rough night and I let him sleep with me. Looking at his little face makes everything I do worth it. He’s lying on his back with his arms above his head and his little mouth hanging open. If I was alone I would read or watch some television but with him in the bed I never do.

I never sleep well when he has a rough night. I worry he will have an asthma attack and I won’t hear it. They scare the heck out of me because he is so young. He’s only four and it freaks the fudge out. I still use a baby monitor in his room to help me hear him and if he has a single one I put in my bed.

Now listening to his snores I know that the day will be better than the night. I know this is part of our normal. I will make a note on the calendar that he had a couple during the night along with all of the other notes I keep. That way I can share it with his doctor.

Thankfully his doctor understands and accepts my level of crazy. I remind myself in those quiet moments that I can let go a little. I also spent some time telling myself this morning that today I would relax. I wouldn’t freak if the day didn’t go according to plan. Sitting there I feel a peace that I only get during those few moments.

I know that I will have to leave the quiet cocoon of my bedroom and start the day. There will be breakfast to make, kids to get off  to school, a giant pile of laundry, medicines to pick up, and appointments to keep. But for that small amount of time I am reminded of why I do it every day and why I will continue to do it every day. Even the ones I don’t feel like doing it on.

What is the greatest joy in your life at the moment? Share it with us in the comments below.