The Lawn Ornament That Got the Police Called | 25 Days of Me

You read that title correctly. I have a lawn ornament that got the police sent to my house. I need to set this up for you, though, and give you some background. First, we have lived in our home for nineteen years now. We are one of the only families to have been here this long. I think there is only one person who has been here longer, and he is a state trooper. The police have never been here other than the one time they delivered a package found in town that had fallen off the Fed-Ex truck. The house that sits on the corner was sold at the end of last year and the lady that moved in seemed alright, if not a little odd at first.

She kept coming over and asking to borrow this or that. From the first moment she met us, she told us about how she was on a fixed income and didn’t make a lot of money. I thought that was odd because you normally don’t talk about your finances with strangers. Then there was the strangest thing: she was being stalked and her phone was being hacked. She said her uncle told her to get cameras, and she told him they could hack them. That person, whoever he or she was, hacked everything. Okay, odd, but again, whatever.

She called the police to her home several times, saying someone was breaking into her house and just tearing it apart. We live in a small neighborhood and, honestly, her house is the most open as far as forest areas and such. If a house was being broken into, there are plenty of others that would make more sense. Not to mention, all of this was happening in broad daylight. None of the other cameras on houses in the neighborhood caught anything.

She came over one day and asked if she could borrow our peacock and I told her it was nailed down. She jerked it out of the ground and took it to her house, where two detectives were waiting for her. They were flabbergasted when they saw her jerk that thing up. You could see it written all over their faces. She proceeded to inform them that we were bugging her and that the bug was hidden in the peacock. The peacock has been outside for more than three years. We just moved it within our yard to a better position. When I say bugging, I mean like spies listening to everything going on in her house. Why she would think we would do that or that, in this day and age, we would need to hide it in a peacock in our yard is beyond me. 

I was astounded!I mean, what do you say to that? As you can see in the picture, you can see straight through most of the peacock. She, however, wanted the detectives to take it apart. When they refused, she took it to her house to do just that. When we informed the detectives that if she took it apart we would expect her to pay for it, she changed her mind. That thing cost $80. The police told her there was nothing they could really do. After all, she had no proof other than what she thought we were doing. 

Let me say this now

We totally are not bugging her house. I mean, we have so much going on in our lives that we don’t even care what she talks about. Secondly, if we were spies, we would stink at it! In terms of whatever break-ins she’s talking about, the police have been out there several times and there is no evidence of anything going on. She called another neighbor and said she had been in the bathroom and when she came out her house had been destroyed. She called the police that time as well, but there was nothing. At this point, we avoid her at all costs. She did get a new dog, whom she encouraged to attack me as I was going to the mailbox the other day. Luckily, the state trooper happened to be there and overheard everything. He spoke to her about her dog, letting her know that if her dog attacks me, because she is telling it to, she is to blame. He also assured her he would do whatever it took to get the dog off me.

She calls one neighbor daily and tells her she needs to move. She just can’t take it up here and she’s being harassed. Most of the neighborhood will not speak to her anymore. Even our friend who she keeps calling said she had had enough. I will say this for someone who has to get out of here: she shows no signs of moving. We also discovered that this is something she has done before in several places she has lived. She swears someone is following her around the country (she has lived in several states) and stalking her. I don’t know if it is true or not. I know there haven’t been any signs of it here. The house right next door to hers was broken into several years ago since the owners only came down in the summer and holidays. They installed cameras that are aimed directly at her house. In fact, during the time her house was broken into, they had a package on the porch for three weeks. No one touched it.

If you are ever down our way and discover your cellphone isn’t working. It’s most definitely the peacock, and we are sorry. He seems to have a mind of his own. At this point, all we can do is make light of it. Whenever the cable goes out, one of the neighbors makes the remark that maybe we need to move the peacock. See if that helps you get better reception. It’s not funny, but what can you do?