The Parenting Chronicles

The other night I was sitting around thinking of something that was a bit funny that we did that drove our parents up the wall. That lead me to come up with this idea of a new series to have on the blog. So all this year I will be sharing stories from The Parenting Chronicles.

At this moment I don’t have a set number of posts or times that I will be posting. I will be attempting to do at least one every month this year. However, depending on the ones that I decide to share there could easily be many more of them. Trust me when I tell you not all of these stories are the best parenting tips in the world. Lets face it every parent has their moments of not being the best. On top of that I grew up during a different time like many of you.

I am certain I am going to have to say, many times, we were not abused as children. My parents did spank us as did my grandparents. I am certainly part of the generation that survived the wooden (or plastic) spoon. Along with the belt and the occasional switch. The thing is many of the events that led to the punishment are funny now. Trust me at the time it wasn’t funny.

There are also stories from my own children that drove me to the brink of drinking. Y’all been there, that moment when you try to remember why you had kids in the first place. Maybe it’s that place when you realize you’re kids are paying you back for everything you ever did. With that said I thought I would go ahead and share a story with you.

The Orange Spoon

My grandmother had a heavy plastic orange spoon. It was the one she used to stir in her biggest pot and to pop you with when you got out of line. Two of my cousins lived with my grandparents. One year we were there when our school was out but theirs was not yet. My cousin came home on the bus but her older brother was not on the bus.

Honestly, had we not been there my grandmother may have not noticed. He came home with his friend about an hour later. My grandmother called him into the kitchen while the rest of sat on the patio. She had a set of sliding glass doors in the kitchen where we could see what was going on.

I swear y’all we sat there and watched my cousin jump around back and forth in front of those doors for twenty minutes. He looked funny and my grandmother kept whacking him with that orange spoon. All you could was see a flash of orange as she was trying to get in a spot that would hurt. Yet, he kept moving around so much she wasn’t doing any good.

I know it’s not funny but you have to imagine a group of kids watching that, all glad it’s not them. Not to mention my cousin looked like he had ants in his pants. My father came onto the patio and asked what we were laughing at. When we pointed to the door, he told us it wasn’t funny. Then the orange spoon bit the dust. That spoon hit whatever (I don’t if it was my cousin or the table or what) and this huge chunk of the spoon went flying and smack the glass door so hard it cracked it.

At that point my father burst out laughing. I mean we were just gone then. Even my cousin that was getting hit with spoon started laughing. My grandmother was mad. None of us were allowed in the house until after dinner. To this day if we are all together we bring up the orange spoon. It was one of those moments that we will never forget.

I need to say that I realize to some this may seem like child abuse and by today’s standards it certainly is. My grandmother in no way beat the crap out of any of us. We have all been whacked with that spoon a time or two. We grew up in a time when not only was corporal punishment allowed it was expected. If you didn’t spank your kids most people talked about you behind your back and what sort of a horrible parent your were. Honestly had we not known we were going to get the spanking of a lifetime we would have done so much more. It was the knowledge of that spanking that made us ask if it was really worth it.

I know some (maybe even most) don’t agree with corporal punishment. I get that and I don’t spank my kids because I don’t have to. They know when they have pushed me to the limit and to stop. It was something I learned from my parents. My father would barely raise his voice and you knew that was it. I learned that the tone change meant something. It was a tactic I used my children. When my tone changes they know they are about to the lose the things they enjoy the most. Remind me to tell y’all about the garden shed full of Barbie dolls sometimes.

We all have moments whether as children or as parents that are just seared into our memories. I thought I would share some of them with y’all so you can laugh or cry right along with me. Hopefully you will laugh because honestly there are more funny moments than sad ones.

BE SURE YOU TUNE IN FOR THE PARENTING CHRONICLES. SO YOU HAVE ANY PARENTING MOMENTS? iF SO, PLEASE SHARE THEM WITH US INT HE COMMENTS.