When we were first married and got pregnant the first time you think this is going to be great but then things happen and you say okay I will wait. Now seven years later and as a woman I begin to wonder “Is it me? What am I doing wrong?” I am of course overweight which doesn’t help and I think recently I have been so obsessed with it all that I have manged to take a lot of the fun out of it. So what can I do? My doctor would say just to relax and let it all happen. That is easy for a man who has four kids of his own. As a woman who is the world’s greatest worrier anyway this only adds to my stress level.
I have realized that having a baby is important for me. Why? Because I want to leave something of myself behind. When I come to the end of my life I wan to be able to say that I left this world a little better than it was when I came into it. My children are wonderful but I want one of my own as well. So I go through the motions of taking my temperature and charting my everything it seems. So much so to the point that when I tell hubby this is when we need to “you know” he doesn’t come home (he works out-of-town sometimes.) In fact the obsession was part of the reason for the affair he had last year. That and other issues. He told me, honestly, that I have got to calm down. That the stress of having to perform on command had just gotten to him.
So now we don’t plan every aspect of our time together and learning to relax and be together more was part of the reason for the extended holiday we took. Although I will admit that secretly it hurt to spend so much time together only to not come home pregnant. I have however come to terms with the fact that I just have to wait and pray that God will bless me.
I live in a small Georgia town that you most likely have never heard of and I LOVE it! My house is more than full as I am a single mother of four & caregiver to my aging mother and uncle. Lover of all things Outlander. Goes to the beat of her own drum woman.
![\\\\\\\"\\\\\\\"](\\\\\\\"https://d5nxst8fruw4z.cloudfront.net/atrk.gif?account=r2cEh1aAod000d\\\\\\\")
I’ll be praying for you Rita =). We have been blessed with 4 kids so I don’t know what your going through. It seems that whenever I lost weight I would get pregnant. Praying that through weight loss and God’s perfect timing you will be blessed with a child of your own.
Thank you for all of your support.
Stress is a big burden. It is a tough situation. We have been trying as well with no luck. Our first two came quick. We would love to add to our family and honestly you just described what I am feeling and going through as well.
I hope that by my sharing our journey it will help others. I know how you feel and learning to let stress go can be the hardest part.
I am not really sure of your age.. or of your husbands or if you have children at home.
I will tell you though, that the older you get, the harder it will be to conceive. Weight does play a bit of a role for some, but if you are fertile, you are fertile and ten pounds just doesn’t sway it that much.
Do you have any other kids of your own (natural children) , have either or both of you had fertility testing? The easiest is to have a man tested- and although he has kids (I had a hard time telling if you were speaking of your husband or your Dr having 4 children) a mans sperm count does decline with age. And, as you know there are only a finite number of eggs a woman has- once they are gone they are gone.
I would encourage you to really have a heart to heart with your husband…. and make a decision soon if you want to take it further than ‘hoping’ or to have some medical intervention. It may be as easy as medicines(pills) or maybe some other decisions if you really want to have a child. You may find out how committed you both are because it has to be a joint decision.
My husband and I were never blessed with children together, although I had a child previously (just one) We have been married 26 years and at times it still bothers me/us we didnt take it past the “God will bless us” because He didnt. It is long past time now I can have children, and from my perspective when you say 7 years unless it was by choice, it sounds as if you need to examine where you are at with it.
Some people do fine never having kids, some can raise a spouses children and be satisfied, some have to have their own, and some can sneeze and get pregnant!
Whatever you decided I wish you well. and writing about it can and will help you. Youre not alone.