When Things Go Wrong: Handling Conflict and Tension in Board Meetings

Board meetings serve an important function – they allow the board of directors to make key decisions about the governance and strategy of an organization. However, they can also become places of conflict if relationships sour and hidden tensions rise to the surface. Learning constructive ways to handle disagreements is critical for an effective board.

Understand the Root Causes

Knowing how to run a great board meeting is a matter of skill and experience. Before trying to resolve conflict, take time to understand its origins. Reflect on when tensions began to emerge and what may have triggered negative feelings. Often conflict arises from:

• Poor communication
• Confusion over roles/responsibilities
• Different philosophies/approaches
• Power struggles
• Past grievances or grudges

Getting clarity on the root issues allows you to have more empathy for others’ perspectives and address problems in a holistic way.

Set Ground Rules

Establish some norms upfront on how conflict will be managed during meetings. For example, ask members to:

• Avoid personal attacks or dismissive language
• Allow each person time to fully express views  
• Listen first, then articulate disagreements in a constructive manner
• Take a collective breather if emotions run high

Ground rules create a framework for civil dialogue where members feel safe sharing openly.

Call a Time-Out

If a tense dispute arises during a meeting, suggesting a 10 to 15 minute recess can work wonders. This pause gives attendees a chance to reflect individually, decompress, and re-gather their thoughts before continuing the debate in a calmer manner. 

A time-out also allows the chair or other leaders to speak privately with disputing members, understand their concerns, and determine the best way forward.

Look for Underlying Shared Interests

Often beneath the surface, warring factions have some common ground that gets overlooked when personalities clash. Reframing the debate to focus on mutual goals, values or priorities helps lower the temperature so real dialogue can happen. The chair could say: 

“I know we disagree on the details here, but we’re all invested in serving students effectively. If we keep that larger vision in mind, I’m confident we can have a constructive discussion about the best path.”

Highlighting superordinate aims gets people out of a polarized mindset and into creative problem-solving mode.

Keep Emotions in Check

When anger enters the picture, reason goes out the window. If a member becomes overly heated and combative during a dispute, the chair should gently suggest a short solo break to calm down.

Table the Issue for a Future Meeting

Some conflicts can’t be resolved in real-time. If talks reach an impasse, postponing the item to a future meeting once everyone has cooled off can be wise. This pause gives people a chance to reflect more objectively, while creating space to strengthen trust and communication channels in the interim.

Executive Sessions May Help

For certain sensitive matters, asking all non-board members to briefly exit while the board discusses the issue confidentially can help facilitate resolution. Removing any “audience” allows members to speak more candidly about their true concerns.

In the end, handling boardroom conflict in a mature manner demonstrates leadership. While not easy, working through disagreements constructively is essential for governance teams to realize their full potential and carry out their duties effectively.