Raising bicultural children can be a challenge for two parents but can get even harder when there is only one parent. However there are things that I have learned and things that surprise me about this entire process each and every day.
1. Balance is the key!
When you are one culture and your spouse is another you tend to share your culture with your children more. It is natural and while that is great it can be a problem. We want our children to know they are Latino but that are also American. However sometimes the Latino is much more dominant and that is something I am working on.
2. Prejudice Happens!
There are going to be times when your children are going to face prejudice. Sometimes it happens right in front of me, sometimes it doesn’t. There is nothing you can do about other than equip them as best you can to deal with it.
3. You Never Know What They are Going to Say!
I have learned this the hard way. If they hear certain words, even if they are in another language, they are going to come out at some point. It very well could be right in front of the priest and make you want to crawl under something and just die. The best way to handle it is to laugh it off and then kill them when you get into the car! No I am kidding!! Just laugh it off and say “Wonder where they heard they at?” There is no point in making an issue about it.
4. Their First Word May Not Be in Your Language!
Sorry! There is a chance that their first word is not in your language. Luckily with the twins their first words have been mama which is great in any language but it could have very well been something else.
5. Their Identity is Ultimately Their Own!
It doesn’t matter what you do or all the things you teach them about your culture. In the end their identity and the way they see themselves in up to them. As they grow you will see more and more which culture they identify with and you have to be okay with that.
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The part about not knowing what might come out of their mouths is hilarious—and not necessarily a bi-cultural issue!
They say all sorts of things they really shouldn’t. Sometimes they pick up dirty words in Spanish but they don’t know what they mean yet so they use them.
I’m a Native American and my husband is white so our children hear both sides of both cultures. I hope they take what makes sense to them when they teach their own children. We also think it’s important to know about other cultures too!
I know what you mean! It can be difficult but all we can do is our best.
I think it’s great that you want your children to know about both sides of their heritage. What really makes me sad is that they still in this day and age face discrimination. I know it happens. I just don’t understand it. I have taught my kids not to see color. I wish more parents would work on that.
It does happen and that is so sad.
I think it’s amazing that you’re so sensitive and thoughtful about raising bicultural children. A lot of parents wouldn’t think about it, and certainly wouldn’t worry about overloading their kids with their own culture. It’s wonderful to honor both sides.
I do try and make sure they understand the great mix that is our cultures. I am blended myself and understand how important it was to know who I was growing up.
I believe that it’s very important that children know their culture and be proud of their culture..some people are just mean and you cannot control what comes out of their mouths but you can control your pride and know that they are just ignorant and ugly..in the end it would be their problem..just be happy that you’re not them..have a good one
I could not have said that better myself!
I totally agree with no matter what you do they are going to discover there own identity and you have to just accept that they are there own person. And words do slip up, if they say it theres no point in getting upset and making a big issue. It happens. We learn from it.
Learn form it we have and honestly they could say or do worst.
My children are African American and Caucasian. The prejudice part is what really gets to me, thankfully my daughter who is 20 has not had not had much happen to her in regards to prejudice.
That is good. Maybe one day we will live in a world where color no longer matters.
I understand the prejudice children face especially at school with other children who don’t have the maturity to understand and accept people from different cultures. Ultimately, the key lies in our children’s hands to handle and maneuver every unfortunate circumstance cleverly and we can only show them how to live that way.
That is true and I hope that I have shown mine the right way to live.
My grandson is half white and half Asian. We try to make a conscious effort to encourage him to be proud of both cultures!