After years of having both mine and hubby’s toothbrush in the bathroom I have only mine. Taking his away was another step towards letting things go. I am going to be honest here and say thought of scrubbing the toilet and then sending it to him crossed my mind. There was even a fling out in the woods moment. However I am trying to be as calm and rational as possible.
I placed it in a plastic bag and simply put it in a box with some other things of his. I will send the box to him when I get everything finished. Truthfully it hurt every time when I went into the bathroom and saw it there. At first it was just too hard to remove it and then later I told myself I didn’t want to change things too much because the kids would notice. I wanted to protect them as much as I could. Now I want them to know that we are moving forward in our lives and all that it entails.
There are pictures of him still in the house but they are family pictures or ones where he is with the kids. I have made a point of moving those into the kids rooms and the one or two int he living room in actually large family portraits with my entire family so he tends to get lost in the crowd. It doesn’t bother me as much and I don’t want the kids to ever think that they can’t have photos or anything of his they want. I am simply changing my space into my space. He has taken up enough of it.
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Good for you for moving forward. Hugs to you and the kids, you’re in my prayers.
Moving on is always best in this situation. My mother went through this sort of thing when she split from my dad. Best wishes to you and your children.
Good for you! I really like that you are taking the steps to make your home into your space. I am sure it’s not easy. It seems to me that you aren’t as fragile now as you were a few months ago. You are getting stronger and learning to put your needs higher up on your list. Which is great. Take care!
I don’t know the whole what ever, which is nunya as they would say but from what I gather here , I can still feel your hurt but am glad you are moving forward in your life as you should, and your right, there is nothing wrong with pictures for the children, he will always be their father , dad… I do want to say that it takes courage and strength to move forward, I know in my life I went through my house and repainted every room, bought new furniture and had all the old stuff picked up by salvation army truck , even went and got a new hair style and clothing, but BIG but until I cleaned out myself from the hurt, anger , pain, that is when I was truly able to start looking at myself my true self ….I could go on but for now I will leave it at this…
Amen! Personally, I think I would have gone the “scrub the toilet” route. 😉
Isn’t it so odd that, in the midst of loss, tragedy—whatever we call it—it is the smallest thing that we notice?