Pull Up a Chair: September 25, 2026

Pull up a chair and stay awhile. Do you have something in your house that you’re saving for a special occasion? Maybe it’s a set of dishes that only comes out at Christmas. It could be the expensive candle you don’t want to burn because then it will be gone, the pretty hand towels nobody is actually allowed to dry their hands on, or a bottle of something tucked away because you’ve decided you need a reason to open it.

I have done this with more things than I care to admit. I’ll buy something because I absolutely love it and then become strangely determined not to use it. Apparently the goal was to own the thing, admire the thing, and protect the thing from the terrible fate of doing whatever it was made to do.

It makes absolutely no sense when I say it that way. I understand saving certain things. I’m not suggesting we put on formal clothes to clean the bathroom or pull out the family china every morning for a bowl of cereal. Some things really are meant for particular occasions, and I love traditions attached to special dishes or decorations.

I’m talking about the other stuff. The things we like so much that we accidentally stop ourselves from enjoying them. I’ve gotten much better about that.

I Want to Use the Pretty Dishes

I love dishes. I can walk past plenty of things in a store without giving them a second glance, but put out a display of beautiful dishes and suddenly I’m imagining an entire table. The problem with pretty dishes is that they’re surprisingly easy to turn into decorations. You put them in a cabinet and wait.

Company is coming? Maybe. Holiday? Definitely. Regular Tuesday night when you’re having chicken and rice? Better grab the everyday plates. Why? The good plates aren’t going to be offended by chicken and rice.

I’ve started using things more often simply because I enjoy seeing them. If I have a pretty bowl, I want fruit in it. If I love a mug, I want coffee in it. If there are plates that make the table look nice, I don’t need twelve people coming over before I can take them out of the cabinet. There are limits, of course. I’m not putting anything irreplaceable in the hands of someone who has already broken three glasses this month. Let’s not get reckless. But there’s a lot of room between protecting something precious and never using anything nice. I want my things to be part of my life.

Burn the Candle

Candles may be where I’m the most ridiculous. I can buy a candle because I love the scent, bring it home, put it somewhere, and then hesitate to light it. If I burn it, I’ll use it up. Yes, Rita. That’s generally how candles work. Meanwhile, the candle sits there for months doing absolutely nothing.

I’ve finally started lighting them. If the house smells wonderful while I’m folding laundry, good. Laundry could use the help. If I’m sitting down to read and want a candle burning nearby, I light one. If it’s raining outside and I want the room to feel a little cozier, that’s enough of a reason. I don’t have to wait until people are coming over.

Actually, I think we have a habit of making our homes nicer for other people than we do for ourselves. We’ll light the candle when company is coming. We’ll put fresh flowers on the table. We’ll use the pretty serving bowl. We’ll clean the porch and put out the nice cushions. Then everyone leaves and we go right back to treating ourselves like we’re not important enough for any of it.

I’ve been guilty of that. I’m trying not to be anymore.

Flowers Don’t Need a Reason Either

I love fresh flowers in the house. They don’t have to be an enormous arrangement from a florist. Half the time it’s a grocery store bouquet that caught my attention while I was supposed to be buying milk. I’ll bring them home, trim the stems, put them in a vase, and enjoy them every time I walk past.

There was a time when buying flowers for myself felt unnecessary. Now I think spending a few dollars on something I’ll enjoy for a week is perfectly reasonable. Nobody has to send them to me. There doesn’t need to be an anniversary. They don’t have to celebrate anything. Sometimes the flowers were pretty. That’s the entire story.

Wear the Thing

I think clothes fall into this category too. Have you ever bought something you loved and then avoided wearing it because you didn’t want to mess it up? I have. You save it for somewhere nice. Then somewhere nice doesn’t happen for a while. Or it does happen and you decide something else would be better.

Eventually you find the thing hanging in the closet with the tags still on it and wonder why you never wore it. I’m not doing that anymore. If I buy something because I love it, I want to wear it. Obviously I’m still going to dress appropriately for whatever I’m doing. The good blouse probably isn’t coming out for yard work. But lunch can be enough of an occasion.

Going shopping can be enough. A random day when I feel like wearing it can be enough. I’ve had perfumes I’ve treated the same way. I’d save the expensive one while using something else every day. Then I realized I was protecting perfume from myself. Who exactly was I saving it for? Use it. There will always be another bottle of perfume. There won’t always be another September 25, 2026.

I Understand How We Got Here

I think some of this comes from the way many of us grew up. There were everyday things and there were good things. You know what I am talking about. The good towels were for company. The good dishes came out for holidays. The living room might even have been a place children weren’t supposed to play because everything in there was nicer.

Things cost money, and people took care of what they had. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I think we could probably stand to take better care of some of our things now instead of treating everything as disposable. But taking care of something and never enjoying it aren’t the same thing.

I can wash a pretty glass carefully after I use it. I can put the good dishes back in the cabinet when dinner is over. I can enjoy the quilt and still take care of it. If something eventually shows signs of being used, that’s okay. So do I.

Sometimes Things Break

This is probably the part we don’t like thinking about. If you use something, you might break it. A glass could slip. A plate could chip. Coffee could get spilled on the good tablecloth. That’s true. I’ve broken things I loved. I’ve also had things packed away so carefully that years went by without anyone enjoying them.

I’m not sure that’s better. There are a few things that I would be genuinely heartbroken to lose, and I’m going to continue treating those differently. Family pieces and things that can’t be replaced deserve a little extra thought.

But the serving platter I bought at a store? We’re using it. The wine glasses? Pour something in them. The blanket that’s almost too pretty to use? Put it on the couch. I bought these things because I liked them. I’d rather eventually see a little wear from years of enjoyment than keep them perfect in a cabinet.

Company Doesn’t Get All the Good Stuff

This may be the biggest change for me. I don’t want my house to become its nicest version only when someone else is coming over. I live here. The people I love live here. Why shouldn’t we get the good stuff?

Why shouldn’t dinner look pretty sometimes even if it’s just us? Why shouldn’t I put fresh flowers on the table before a completely ordinary week? Why shouldn’t I drink my morning coffee out of the mug I like best? I think we can get so focused on making other people feel special that we forget we’re allowed to make ordinary life pleasant too.

I’m not talking about turning every meal into a tablescape. Nobody has time for that, and I certainly don’t want another pile of dishes to wash just because Tuesday needed an aesthetic. I’m talking about small things.

Use the napkins you bought because they made you smile. Put dinner in the serving bowl instead of setting the pot on the table if you feel like it. Drink the iced tea from the pretty glass. Put on the perfume. Open the lotion you were saving. Eat the chocolate somebody gave you before it develops that strange white coating from sitting around too long. Especially the chocolate. There is no reason to waste good chocolate waiting for an occasion.

Ordinary Days Are Most of Our Lives

Special occasions are wonderful, but there aren’t that many of them. We get birthdays and holidays. There are weddings, anniversaries, graduations, vacations, and all the other days we circle on the calendar.

Then there are hundreds of regular days in between. Mondays when the laundry needs doing. Wednesdays when we’re trying to figure out supper. Friday afternoons when we’re tired and thinking about ordering pizza. Those days make up most of our lives. I don’t want to give all the good dishes to Christmas. Christmas already has plenty going for it. Wednesday can have a nice plate too.

So if you’ve been saving something because you’re waiting for the right occasion, maybe take another look at it. I’m not going to tell you to use your grandmother’s irreplaceable china for a peanut butter sandwich. You know which things matter too much to risk. But that candle you bought six months ago? Light it. The dress hanging in the closet? Wear it.

The fancy coffee you’ve been saving? Make a cup. And if you’ve got a beautiful set of glasses sitting in a cabinet waiting for company, pour yourself some sweet tea in one tonight. Just don’t put it in the dishwasher if the label says hand wash. Using the good stuff doesn’t mean we’ve stopped taking care of it.